This post is aimed at mums but can definitely be applied to anyone who feels their body is not the same as it used to be.
Who are you? Who were you? What do you want to be? Why?
The postnatal years can be hard, rewarding and beautiful but also hard, emotionally and physically. It is a time where your time is no longer your own and the life of someone else is more important than yours!
Did anyone tell you BC (Before Children) that your body would change permanently? You knew your belly would get big, that your boobs would get bigger that you might get stretch marks….. But did anyone tell you that your feet might also get bigger and not go back? Did anyone tell you that your abdominals would separate down the middle and may not go back? Your hips would be wider, your belly saggier and let’s not forget about the changes to other sacred areas (let’s leave that for another post)?
I have seen many women both professionally and personally who are not happy with their bodies post babies. They don’t like to look at themselves in the mirror, they feel disgusted with what they see. I would like you to ask yourself…….. WHY?
We have a representation of our bodies in our brains, a virtual body. Scientifically we call it the homunculus. It is a map in our brain which changes as our bodies do. During pregnancy we get slow changes, we spend a lot of time touching our stomachs, looking in the mirror and marvelling at the amazing changes taking place within us. All this time our little brain maps are slowly changing.
But what happens after we give birth?
I give you an example of a dramatic haircut: If you get a new haircut which is quite different from the last we have a very quick change of our bodies image (kinda of like giving birth). When you first look in the mirror you are surprised at what is looking back. But as we keep looking we get used to it. I like to think that the point in which we stop being surprised is the point at which our homunculus has caught up. Our little brain map has changed.
So……after birth? There is a quite sudden change in your body, empty belly, full hard and sometimes painful boobs. And then there is an amazing, demanding, crying little bundle of joy who requires your every breath. They need feeding, washing, cuddling and anything else you can imagine. You no longer become important…… well so you feel. Your beautiful pregnant body which attracted comments from everyone including strangers on the street is now a saggy mess of postnatal joy. Recovery should be a priority but unfortunately it’s not. We seem to come last. When you look in the mirror there can be a shock….. ‘That’s not what I used to look like’, but then we tell ourselves ‘I will walk everyday and go to the gym and get my old body back’. But then time slips away, the tiredness is unrelenting. We look in the mirror 6 months later and can still feel shocked at what we see.
I have seen women who won’t look at or touch their c-section scar, they won’t let their partner see them naked, or won’t leave the lights on when they have sex.
What happens if we don’t accept our bodies? If we don’t look at or touch ourselves? What happens to that little map in our brains? I like to think of this phase as a big fat smudge!
Sometimes we get stuck between prenatal, pregnancy and postnatal bodies. Who am I now? What am I supposed to look like. What do I want to look like?
You need to re map your brain!
So when do I get the time to do that you ask? No one told you when you fell pregnant that you would never be alone again. No one told you that simple tasks as showering and going to the toilet you would do with a child attached to you. How are you supposed to exercise when you can’t even poo alone?
Let me tell you that it does get easier, your body becomes your own again and for some easier than others. But to do this it’s important to find some time for yourself. Maybe it’s just an hour per week of ‘YOU’ time. Go for a walk, go and see your physio, go to a yoga class, go to the park and lie on the grass (without a child on your belly). Take ownership of who you are. Look at yourself in the mirror, touch your stomach, contract your muscles. Be you.
It is important to have goals and improve on your fitness, wellbeing, and overall health, and thats where we can help. Don’t settle for things that can change but let me make a suggestion……….
Accept the things that are different than before and embrace them.
This is you! You are amazing! And you are important.
Physiotherapy is extremely useful in the postnatal period of your life, We can help you to
- manage back, neck and shoulder problems
- soft tissue and alignment issues
- regaining strength and reintroduction to exercise
- education and awareness of your pelvic floor function
Let us know if you need help.
